bad/awesome flixxx review: Side Out (1990)


"Alright, you ready Munroe? I'm gonna serve ya... C'mon, move up. No, come up a little bit closer, just a little bit more. Ya ready? Here it comes...." - Craig Moothart

"HahahahahaHAA! How does it feel to be stuffed like a turkey?" - Wiley

"Nice hit cheesedick." - Moothart

This is one of the ultimate late 80s, montage filled, cheese fests! But it is AWESOME! I don't remember what exactly drew me to this movie when I was younger. Was it the tons of hot women in scanty 80s bikinis? Was it C Thomas Howell?? Or his other performances in classic flicks like SOUL MAN or RED DAWN? (Have you seen him lately by the way? He looks OLD! He'll be in the new AMAZING SPIDER-MAN, so you'll get your chance.) Or was it the super hot Courtney Thorne-Smith (also from SUMMER SCHOOL!!!)? I don't know, its not like I was super into volleyball. Who knows what draws you in? Maybe it was that song "Playing with the Boys" by Kenny Loggins (This must have been the international volleyball song, because it's in TOP GUN i think when they're playing and if you look up the video, they're playing it in it as well). Pretty sure if you're movie didn't have a Kenny Loggins song in the soundtrack, there's about a third of the population who would refuse to see it. All this and more in SIDE OUT!!!

SO... C Thomas Howell plays Munroe, a pretty good basketball player from Wisconsin who's come out to Venice Beach for the summer to work for his uncle who looks pretty much like Bernie from WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S (1 AND 2 ;) ). I assume he's a good bball player cause they keep telling us that. We never actually see him with a basketball. He's come out to work for his super rich uncle because he's working to become a lawyer. A bit like SECRET TO MY SUCCESS here in the beginning. He meets up with this crazy dude Wiley in the beginning who's trying to get fares at the airport even though he doesn't have a taxi license. He's driving a hearse and is trying to scam bread because his tour of hollywood cemeteries isn't doing so well.

His uncle tells him he has to go and serve delinquent tenants summons and get them out of their spots. With no experience whatsoever, Munroe of course fails miserably. Then he meets Zach Barnes. Zach is a ex "king of the beach" turned beach bum. Some say he still has the moves, but it looks like he's dodging bookie after bookie, just trying to catch up. Zach gives Munroe the slip for the time being and Munroe meets Samantha.... SCHWING!! 

After fucking up bigtime, Wiley invites Munroe to play a little 2 on 2 beach volleyball with "side out" rules with some locals. They are terrible, but not TOO terrible that Wiley doesn't ask Munroe to be his partner and enter the "Classic". Noticing that he's late, Munroe splits back and gets reamed out by his uncle. His uncle is like, well as long as you evict this Zack dude, you'll be ok. Fucked up thing is Munroe serves him, and he ends up being cool. When Munroe and Wiley are getting creamed, Zach's ex is a huge volleyball promoter & she's trying to con him into coming back to her. See Zach got to the finals in the Classic a few years back and then was a no show. It turns out it was because of gambling debts he had to let them bet on him to take a fall. He regrets it, and to show his defiance, pretends he is already coaching the boys. Munroe is reluctant at first but then takes to Zach.

Munroe gets date with Sam, he lies to her. She's pissed. He spends a good few weeks trying to win her confidence again. But he is a jerk and when Zach doesn't show to coach their big game against some meatheads, Munroe pushes Wiley into the net and Wiley breaks his arm. Zach was banging his ex. Then he tells Munroe not to worry. Munroe decides to help his uncle evict Zach. But in court he feels sorry for him and proves that the scummy landlord fucked up. They lose the case. Munroe's uncle fires him. Zach meets him on the beach, tells him to move in and that he'll be his partner in the Classic. Then there's a lot of montages and getting ready and more pure 80s gold. If you see one volleyball movie for the rest of your life, make it this one. Plus, the motherfucking soundtrack is tight as Hell. Word. Word is bond.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Gerald Abernethy