Bad/Awesome Flixxx Review: Evil Dead II (1987)

"Then let's head on down into that cellar and carve ourselves a witch." - Ash

"I don't think so. We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw. Does that sound "fine"? - Mirror Ash

"There's something out there. That... that witch in the cellar is only part of it. It lives... out in those woods, in the dark... something... something that's come back from the dead." - Ash

Sequel or remake? This usually is what people talk about when they are talking about this flick. I guess in the context of the film itself, it doesn't really fucking matter. Is it worth a shit? That's the question we should be asking. In all actuality its probably a bit of both sequel AND remake. A little retelling of the beginning and rewriting and polishing to make it a better story. Is it the best movie ever? No. Is it incredibly scary? No. Is it completely awesome and full of gross out, slapstick horror comedy? Yes. And with that I give you Bruce Campbell in (the middle film of Sam Raimi's trilogy) EVIL DEAD II !!!

So, second verse same as the first right? Not quite actually. In what is supposed to be a recap of the first movie (or so they say) we get a fresh perspective on our hero Ash and instead of his sister and gang of friends, we have his girlfriend with him. Very quickly they get excited for a romantic evening in this old cabin when Ash finds a tape recorder in the bedroom. On this recorder a professor explains he's made a wild discovery with his family in tow. It seems they found "the Book of the Dead" in the back of some castle and he brought it back to this cabin to decode it. He then recites some lines from the book that cause a wicked smoke to rise up out of the woods and give birth to true evil. From there Ash's girl Linda is out into the woods and her head comes off. Ash buries her and then goes back to the cabin where her dead body taunts him all night until he goes insane. 
Just before daybreak, he's out in the woods fighting this evil and it throws him through the woods seemingly for miles and he hits a tree and splashes down in a puddle. When he gets up, he's possessed. But the sun comes up and the smoke goes back into the ground and seemingly so does his possession. He passes back out in the puddle for most of the day and then tries to drive his car outta there. No dice, the bridge is out. Suddenly, the daughter of the professor comes back from whereever and meets her dude. They can't get there by bridge so she hires this local redneck and his girlfriend to take them back out to her father's cabin. It seems she had been off looking for missing pages of the book.

Meanwhile Ash has been freaking himself out in the cabin. Talking to himself, seeing things, and finally having to cut off his own possessed hand which is trying its best to kill him. When Annie (the daughter) makes it back, they have to lock him in the basement because they think he's a killer. Finally they realize whats up and the professor's dead wife starts to attack Ash in the basement. They let him out and he ends up having to kill Annie's boyfriend who is also possessed. Then they're haunted for at least another half hour by Annie's dead mom. 
The redneck makes them go try to help him find his girlfriend who has disappeared but Ash goes crazy again. Annie stabs the redneck and throws him in the cellar where her mother turns him into gallons of blood that sprays everywhere. Ash almost kills Annie, but sees Linda (his girlfriend from the beginning)'s necklace and transforms back into himself. Then they give each other a pep talk and he glues a chainsaw to his nub and fights off the demons as she recites the missing pages incantation that opens up a portal sucking everything back to the year 1300. Unfortunately it sucked up Ash as well and after quickly dispersing of a screaming flying hideous monster is hailed by the knights as their prophesized hero. To which he screams, "no, no, noooo, no......NO!!!" And this sets us up for the sequel which actually did come out a few years later. Should you? You already should have. Yes.

Monday, November 25, 2013

Gerald Abernethy