Bad/Awesome Flixxx Review: D.C. Cab (1983)

"Why are women are so uptight? They've got half the money and all the pussy." - Dell

"Bruce Lee ain't dead you know. They got him frozen in carbonite down under Chatsworth. They're gonna melt him down as soon as the economy gets better." - Dell

"My father came back from the Korean War with his brains so scrambled, he thought he was Jesus! They put him in a nuthouse for five years, when he came out, he didn't think he was Jesus no more, he thought he was God. Which made me Jesus. Then shit got pretty heavy." - Tyrone

An old favorite of mine and my Earth pops. I remember watching this with him back when he used to sell cars. He had a handful of movies like this he'd watch. CAR WASH, USED CARS, this one. All of them remind me of those old Saturday mornings when it was cold as hell and his car lot was one of the first places in town with cable television. Wild shit. Bill Maher, Marsha Warfield, Mr. T, The Barbarian Brothers, Gary Busey and more in D.C. CAB!!!!

So this young dude Albert comes to DC to meet up with his dad's old army buddy who runs a pretty shitty taxi service. Everyone who works for him is a character. Mr. T, Gary Busey, The Barbarian Brothers... etc. They keep getting in trouble with the taxi regulators in DC for operating without a airline license and overcharging. They are getting beat up badly by their competition The Emerald Cab company. The only good cabbie they have, Marsha Warfield is constantly about to leave the company to go to the green side because she keeps getting robbed at gunpoint and has no other way to support herself. So they're in bad shape. 

Albert really wants to be a cabbie. His old man died, and he wants to help out the cab company. Most of the cabbies are cool to Albert, but they don't really give a shit about their job, they all have dreams of what's coming next for them. So then somebody leaves a really expensive old violin in one of the cabs and this bum finds it. Since they don't know whos cab it was left in, they give the $10,000 reward to Harold the owner. Harold is going to split the bread with the cabbies, but his wife Myrna is totally against it. Harold offers the cabbies a chance to invest their money into the cab company to make it great, the best in town. At first everyone says "bullshit", they couldn't care less. But then Myrna steals their money and kicks Harold out of his own house. They all get super pissed then. 

Luckily Albert comes to the rescue and tells them that he'd saved up like 7000 bucks or it was left to him or something, either way, he puts his money, all of it up so that they can stay in business. Everyone is super psyched on his vibe, and they paint all the cabs and fix them up and start taking business back from the Emerald cabbies. Everything is good until a kidnapping happens. 

So Albert is taking like some senators kids to school or something and they usually do this everyday, but they get hijacked and they throw Albert and the kids in a van. The news reports that Albert is involved in the kidnapping and so the cabbie regulator shuts down DC cab. Everyone is pissed because they know Albert wouldn't do it. So Harold finds out the head cabbie regulator dude is sleeping with his wife so he takes a blowtorch and chases him, and then they bust the cabs out of the clink and go on a rescue mission to save Albert and the kids. There are other subplots, but if you're looking for a no thinking type of 80s comedy, here ya go. 

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Gerald Abernethy