bad/awesome flixxx review: Transylvania 6-5000 (1985)


"Ooh, bazonkers! I never counted on bazonkers." - Ugly Hattie

" Is good, ya? Is funny?" - Fejos

"Do you smell perfume?"
"Yes. I know what was in this room."
"The Creature from Estee Lauder." - Gil and Jack

This is a funny little movie that always seemed to me like it was a Mel Brooks movie that Mel Brooks didn't do. Meaning its very "Mel Brooks". Super funny, super punny. Lots of big name cast and hilarious cameos. Jeff Goldblum, Ed Begley Jr, Michael Richards, Jeffery Jones, Geena Davis, AND (yet another movie with) OGRE from REVENGE OF THE NERDS all starring in TRANSYLVANIA 6-5000!!!

This is one of those either you love it or hate it yuck em up flixxx. The kind that I usually love. Aaaannnnd this was no different. It has a million cameos and a super simple plot that does a great job of not revealing itself til the end. Since its different doing comedies than other types of flicks, and I don't like to spoil flicks.... unless you're never going to watch them anyway... i won't give the whole thing away. But to give you the gist: Gil (Begley) and Jack (Goldblum) are reporters who work at a local rag that's a lot like Weekly World News. Gil's dad owns it, and he'll do anything to look good in his old man's eyes. Jack doesn't give a shit, he just wants to make quality writing so that he can move up in the journalistic world. He sees this as a stepping stone on the way to a bigger career. Gil's old man gets a video of some kids getting fucked up by a Frankenstein monster. He thinks its real, and he wants Gil and Jack to go to Transylvania to investigate. "Where's Transylvania?" "I don't know... over there somewhere."

Jack thinks this is complete bullshit, but he can't afford to get fired, so he goes along. They arrive in Transylvania and meet up with the mayor (Jeffery Jones) and this weird ass butler (Michael Richards) and decide that the town is wonderful and very cute. Jack immediately meets some hot broad, I can't remember her name, but she's Jackie Gleason's hot ass wife from THE TOY. He chases her around while Gil starts asking the locals about Frankenstein. Everyone laughs in his face, and he almost gets laughed out of town until Jack comes and rushes him out of there and back to check in to their hotel.

That night in the hotel, Geena Davis as a super hot nympho vampiress comes into Gil's room and tries to suck his blood. There are various other monster's that start showing up: A mummy, a wolfman, a creature from the black lagoon, you get the idea. So Jack finally sees something weird is going on and him and Gil do a little more investigating looking for this dude who is supposedly locked up in the koo koo house. There's a hunchback guy named Radu who has a maid/cook/girlfriend who chases him around and won't stop bothering him. She's the 2nd angel that visits Bill Murray in SCROOGED. Anyway they are very Mel Brooks'ed out if you know what I mean.

Ok, I can't tell you anymore or it will give away the end, but suffice to say- I thought that Goldblum was going to play the goofball, but instead he played the straight man. Usually he plays the weirdo. So that threw me for a loop. Its a pretty great underrated flick. If you're looking for Comedy/Horror, heavy on the cheese, look no further. Should you watch? Yes. With a pretty girl.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Gerald Abernethy