Bad/Awesome Flixxx Review: The Last Chase (1981)

"Those of us that survived learned to cope with changes, and I lost the chance to do what I love best...race cars." - Franklyn Hart

"...and this MAN...this fool...IS DEFECATING ON THOSE FLOWERS!" - Hawkins

"I knew she'd sick you on me here sooner or later you two-legged bloodhound. How'd you get in here?" - Captain J.G. Williams

Here we go. I searched for this movie for a LOOOOONG time. As a kid, I was a huge fan of the 1966 Batman series and I was also a fan of THE FALL GUY. Not to mention that ol Lee Majors was also the SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN, and was married to Farrah Fawcett. So when I heard about a film about a world stricken with a disease that kills most of the inhabitants and takes away their forms of transportation starring Lee and ancient ol Burgess Meredith the Penguin himself, I had to find it. Ladies and gents, THE LAST CHASE!!!

So at some point in the future, a major plague happens on Earth wiping out a significant portion of the population. Around the same time, mankind has also depleted its fossil fuel supply. In the ensuing chaos that unfolds, a Gestapo type government takes control of the US and installs cameras everywhere resulting in all of the automobiles being dismantled and a good portion of everyone's personal freedom's taken away. Our hero is Frank Hart, an ex race car driver whose family was killed in the plague. As a bizarre type of punishment for the type of life he led, his job working for the government is to go around and give speeches and lectures on the importance of public transportation and the evils of having your own vehicle and how life is way better now that he rides the bus instead of driving race cars. 

This horseshit spiel he's forced to give everyone is really freaking him out and he spends his nights in his garage piecing together an unbelievably fast porsche racing car from parts that he steals from junkyards. Around the time that he finally finishes it, every once in a while he'll see this A/V signal jam coming from somewhere in California that interupts regular propaganda type television telling everyone that plans are being made to help everyone become free again and for people to try to head out to California if they had any way to do it. So one day Frank is giving a speech at this private school and there's this whiz kid who's also been jamming the government's signals. Frank randomly is completely over his whole bullshit talk and finally just abandons it and tells the kids what he really thinks. He almost gets fired over it, but the kid is really inspired. Frank's boss yells at him, and he goes home. Meanwhile the kid runs away from school b/c the pigs are onto him for being an airwave pirate. He somehow makes his way to Frank's house and breaks into his garage. This lures the police to Frank's house and kind of forces his hand. He wasn't necessarily ready to make his trip yet, but after the pigs come looking for the kid, he almost gets his facade blown. The cops all drive golf carts by the way. 

So they take off across the country. They don't have anyone to stop them, but the roads haven't been used in over 20 years, so there are some trouble spots they have to figure out. The thing is there aren't any cops are anything out there. This infuriates the government goons, and the one dude they send to handle the situation decides that if there is anyone in the country who used to fly planes that is still alive, he knows where there are enough parts to restore one. So they send this geeky guy to get Burgess Meredith. He's a drunk who likes to fly kites. But when he here's that he gets the chance to fly again, he almost immediately snaps out of a 20+ year drunk. It takes them awhile to put the plane together and then they are in hot pursuit of Frank and the kid. They are stealing gas with this hand pump out of the bottom of basically any gas pump that exists because they all have a bit way down in the bottom. So he's loving it. 

So Burgess Meredith catches up to them and unleashes the machine guns and he actually hits them first shot. But Lee Majors was only hit in the shoulder and while the Penguin is flying around, Lee and the kid duck into some woods. They meet some Native Americans and some others living in a commune and they help them hide their car and patch Lee up. Lee falls for this chick but before they have a chance to confess their feelings, some militia dudes come in and start shooting all these innocent people. So Lee and the kid split. Meredith is back on them quickly but he radios them and tells them that he doesn't want to kill them. But the government dudes are listening in and they rig up a laser in the desert that will blast the hell out of them judging by what it can do to a cactus. Burgess tries to warn them, but its too late, and to save them he crashes his plane INTO THE LASER!!! BOOM!!! And its pretty much smooth sailing from there. Does Lee make it to California? And what becomes of the kid, or the chick? Or the government goons? You'll have to search for it and see! Enjoy! 

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Gerald Abernethy